It’s become a tradition at my workplace to take a break from computer stuff and do one minute of plank pose. Of course there are no mirrors and I have no way of checking my posture. So I decided to take a picture of my plank at home. Results: Interesting.

I have to say that I’ve thought about what my body must look like when I am doing yoga many times–pretty much any time I do yoga, to be specific. “Am I accidentally flashing people? Gosh I hope not ” is probably the main thought going through my head about it, but there’s also some “Where do I put my belly in this pose?” mixed in. Like in child’s pose (below–well, my large-bellied version of it, anyway). I kind of have to do it differently. The belly has to fit somewhere. 

Of course the majority of people around me in any yoga situation are not what you would call remotely large-bellied. In my mind, my continual delusion is that they are all on some level thinking I can’t do it, which makes me both anxious and attached about so-called “doing it right.” And it makes me extra nervous about asking for help. There’s just more self consciousness, all in all, than I would like to admit. When is outside judgment real? When is it made up? And when, if ever, does it matter? I guess it really doesn’t.  

As to my plank, I had been wondering how well I was doing at keeping my rear end in check. I can see now that it’s better than I feared, not quite as good as I would like. But now I have more information, I can work on that. My arms, though, feel strong. And the way the belly hangs–well, it’s just not something you see every day. 

I find the picture oddly compelling. It almost looks like I’m flying. And the light is around me … And the shape of my body is perfectly beautiful. In a strange sort of way. 

Child’s pose, my version.

Sometimes (mostly) I look at myself and say “Oy! So round!”

But now and then I say, “Wow, I sure am glad I have this body. It’s just one of the innumerable gifts I’ve received from my creator to equip me perfectly for this lifetime’s unique journey.” This body has most definitely impacted the development of my personality in ways both obvious and unimaginable. So, it goes with everything else about me. It is the package. What else can I do but love it and be grateful?